First off. Happy fathers day to all the true fathers. I don’t mean you sleazebags who impregnated a woman than ran off and left your family for one reason or another. I also don’t mean most men who divorced their wives or were dumb enough to marry a woman that you would divorce later. I mean the fathers. Those men who are truly the pillar of their home. The ones who are always there for their family, the ones who provide for their family, the ones who protect their family. To the true fathers out there. Happy Fathers Day.
I’m not going to pretend for a minute that I personally know the jobs and trials and pressures that a father must be under. I’m 22, still single, and do my best to be a good boyfriend when I’m in a relationship, and still manage to screw that up somehow most of the time. To be a husband and a father is a responsibility and privilege that I am not sure I am ready for yet. You think you are? Lets look a bit at the position of fathers today. What their responsibilities are, the kind of pressure they face, and try to truly understand that not every person with their anatomy lined up right is truly a “man” much less “father” material.
Of course, me being a Christian, I go to the Bible for a good look at how a man should behave, what his responsibilities are, etc. And Ephesians is an awesome book to look at how a man should behave. Before we go to much farther into this, allow me to say why I keep using the word “behave”. As I told a friend of mine one time when she asked if I thought I was a man, my response was, “It doesn’t matter what I think. If I don’t behave as a man; if my actions, words, and thoughts are not those of a man, than what does it matter if I think I am a man or not.” The only thing that the world is able to judge your manliness on is your actions, your behavior. This is what defines a man. Not the fact that you have an extra appendage, but your actions. Now. Lets see what the Bible says about these actions.
My first and personal favorite, is found in 1st Timothy 5:8. “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own
house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” In other words, a father is to be the prime provider for a family. I did not say the wife could not work. In todays society that may very well be necessary, and that is not the point of today’s post. Men are to be able to provide food for their family, provide protection, provide shelter, and anything else the family may need. NOT want, but Need. If a man does not do this, out of laziness, or not caring for his family, or because he is not truly a man, then the Bible clearly states that God holds him like an unbeliever. More than likely he is a non-believer as well because a Christian man would provide for his family or at least make the attempt to. Not finding a job and looking is understandable. Not looking for a job and sitting around the house while letting your wife provide is not.
There may be other problems that get in the way of the man providing, but I think you get my drift on that subject. On to another one. Ephesians 6:4. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The fathers responsibility to his children is to teach them in loving kindness. This does not mean the father should not show righteous anger. For instance if he found out his son got a young woman pregnant out of wedlock, I would expect a certain amount of anger. However, he also needs to be supportive of his son, and urge him to make the right decisions according to what is right in the eyes of God. The father is to be an example to his children of the kind of love that God the Father has for all of us. When the children look at dad, they should be able to see God’s love through you.
Another good one in Ephesians, is in chapter 5: 25-33. This is part of the chapter that explains how husband and wife should feel and act towards one another. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That
he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or
wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without
blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless
let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Wow, had to start a new paragraph after that one. But it was worth it. A husband should show the same love to his wife that Christ showed for the church. As it said, he should even be willing to lay his life down for her, just as Christ did for us. He should care and provide for her as if she were him, because the man is yet to be born who truly hates his own flesh. Now how many men do you know truly embody these traits?
Where can you find a man who has these traits, ladies? Good luck. They are dieing out fast. However, a good general rule, is if you find a man who fears the Lord, has a strong relationship with God, has a daily time that he sets aside for God, and that has surrendered everything in his life to God, will be a man who will treat you just as a true man should. He will be a man who will be an excellent father to any children, and you will truly see the love of God in him.
I have not the time to go through everything the Bible said about being a man and a father, but this is a pretty good overview for today. Before I sign off though. I would like to thank my father. For imparting much knowledge on me, for allowing me to make mistakes and helping me through them, for teaching me how to shoot a basketball and play baseball, for taking me fishing and hunting, and bringing me up the way I should go. I still don’t think I truly appreciate everything he has done for me, and I may not until I hopefully become a father one day as well. So thanks Dad. For everything.
Yours in Truth,
Phillip Williamson II